Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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