she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
