im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
