end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize