Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am available for nakedness
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
