I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just had sex bonerless
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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