After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
