i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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