I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
