Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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