I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
