I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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