I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
