I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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