eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
