the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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