The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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