$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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