Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
