I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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