She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
