I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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