How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wish there were birth control emojis
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
