Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
