I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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