i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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