I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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