U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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