let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
