Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
