Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
