so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
