Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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