Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
