It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
