Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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