hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
