So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just high enough for therapy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
