May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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