You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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