im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
