i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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