I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize