i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
