Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
