Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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