Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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