I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
