I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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