Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize