I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
