I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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