we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
