oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
