she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
