so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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