You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
