whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
