I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
